My Hyderabadi friend was pained. Deccan Chargers’ consistent below-par performance in the IPL was too much for him to digest.
Commoners cited the home-ground jinx. They seemed justified when DC won the IPL in South Africa. But he felt there was something more.
He engaged a popular analyst to look into it. After reviewing the first three editions of the IPL, the analyst came up with his conclusion – The problem was with the owners. And the incentives they could offer.
The analyst reasoned that players, like employees, need incentives for better performance. And if they fail to identify themselves with the incentives, it could be counterproductive. Here is how he saw the situation:
MI – Owned by the Reliance Group, their players may virtually get everything they need for free – from garments to footwear, from jewelry to cosmetics, from groceries to vegetables. They could also expect unlimited free calls with some ‘brotherly’ support!
RCB – Owned by the ‘King of Good Times’ – players can hope for, amongst other things, free beer, liquor, air travel, and F-1 pass. They could even ask for free passes for a calendar shoot!
CSK – Owned by India Cements, players could hope for free cement bags for constructing all that they would want to, in all the plots that they buy, with all the crores that they get.
KXIP – If a movie with Priety was not exciting, players could at least look at the suit range from Bombay Dyeing. BTW, don’t forget, they also own Britannia!
RR– Notwithstanding the various business interests of Raj Kundra, the players could hope for a movie with Shilpa, an entry into the Big Boss, or at the very least, yoga sessions with Shilpa!
DD – Even from an infrastructure company like GMR, the players could hope for some engineering support, for their constructions, along with some concessions at a few airports.
That leaves KKR and DC.
KKR – A movie with King Khan! The analyst was not sure whether many players would have liked that. However, he also felt that their performances in the first three editions may also have been impacted by the man named John Buchanan, and his 4 captains and no-winners theory!
DC – owned by the media group Deccan Chronicle. A problem in what they can offer as incentive. Horror of horrors, their players get 100 free copies of the Deccan Chronicle newspaper everyday. One can only imagine what went through Gilchrist when 100 free copies of the Andhra Bhoomi, their telugu newspaper, were dropped at his doorstep one day! All that as incentive. And unfortunately for the players, the DC owner’s don’t seem to have any other popular business.
That was the reason, the analyst concluded. His suggestion for revival? DC must now divest and take in partners who can better incentivize the players – a la Paradise Restaurant, or at least Gokul Chat! Nothing like the famous Hyderabadi Biryani or famed Gokul Chat, he declared.
I have never understood the wise words of analysts, so I left my friend to deal with the situation. But I could not resist wondering what if indeed, Paradise or Gokul, picked a major stake in the team. What would they then be called? Paradise Pirates, Gokul Gamers………..